How Inconsiderate!
by Rogen80
Summary: While aboard the ship headed to Skellige, Triss and Geralt retire to their room. Unbeknownst to them, their activities are noticed by the other passengers. Rated M for strong language, suggestive themes, and strong imagery. One-shot.


_**Yennefer's Room**_

The Sorceress from Vengerberg was tired. It had been a long and grueling past few days. The battle and Kaer Morhen was very taxing for her, given the high level and volume of magic that she had to conjure just to keep the Wild Hunt's blizzard at bay. Then, she and Triss immediately traveled to Novigrad in order to track down the remnants of the Lodge of Sorceresses. This proved no easy task, but after pulling out all the stops, they managed. Now, the sorceresses were on board along with Ciri, Geralt, and a mysterious elf, and they were bound for Skellige to continue their quest. All things told, she was grateful for the opportunity to catch up on some well needed sleep.

After finishing her nightly preparations, she was ready to crash into her bed. A brief sour feeling came over her as she noted that she was sleeping alone, while Triss and Geralt shared the adjacent room. But she pushed those thoughts aside.

 _That silly little witcher will come to his senses eventually. He'll satisfy his Triss fetish and then come crawling back to me soon enough..._

With that thought, and a slight smile, she closed her eyes.

Not a minute after she had put her head on the pillow did she hear commotion in the next room. Her eyes shot open as a loud crash was heard in the next room. It was as if a large bucket was thrown onto the ground. Yen snorted to herself.

 _Oh dear, I hope our love birds aren't having a marital spat,_ she thought with amusement.

She closed her eyes again, but it was short lived. Next, to her frustration, she head the unmistakable sound of moaning. Distinctly female moaning.

 _Triss! Can't keep that big, fat mouth of hers shut!_

Yennefer got out of bed in a huff and put her ear to the wall. Although the sounds were muffled, she could just make out what the two were saying. What she heard disgusted her.

"Ohhh, Geralt... I can't stop... I, Ooohh!"

"Don't stop Triss. Let your body do the work..."

The raven haired sorceress had enough. She slammed her fist on the wall and called out: "Quiet down in there! Some of us are trying to sleep!"

 _How inconsiderate!_ She thought angrily.

Her temper was running hot. Any chance of her going back to sleep was futile, so she decided to go above-deck.

~~O~~

 _ **Main Deck**_

Ciri was resting her wrists on the deck rail, looking out to sea. She enjoyed watching the moon's reflection on the waves. There was a slight breeze and salty air brushed her face. She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and then exhaled slowly – savoring the calm, relaxing atmosphere. Footsteps broke Ciri from her reverie. She turned around and saw Yennefer walking towards her.

"Hello Yen! Come out to enjoy the night air?"

"Something like that."

Yen walked up to the rail and rested her forearms on it. She sighed deeply. Up close, Ciri noticed the bags forming under her eyes. Yennefer's weary demeanor unsettled the ashen haired woman.

"You look terrible, Yen. You should really get some sleep."

The sorceress' eyes widened and she slammed her fist on the rail. "How can I? When your father is constantly romping with that... with _Triss_!"

Ciri giggled despite herself. "Wow, Dandelion was right. They really do go at it like rabbits!"

"It's no joking matter, Ciri!" Yennefer shot back. "I wonder if they're getting back at me for the bed incident."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't want to get into it."

"Oh come on! I know you're dying to tell me."

Yen sighed and then began. "When I returned to Kaer Morhen before the battle, I utilized the guest bedchamber in order to assemble my megascope. I was trying to focus, and noticed that the bed was totally unkempt - like a bunch of animals had occupied it. You know how I dislike messiness. So, I walked over and, to my disgust, noticed that the bed was littered with red hairs."

"Mmph. I doubt that was a pleasant sight for you," Ciri said empathetically.

"It was not. So, I cast a spell on the whole stupid bed and threw it out the window. I can still hear the satisfying crash of wood on stone."

The young woman frowned slightly. "You destroyed the bed? That's so mean!"

Yennefer threw her hands in the air. "Et tu, Cirilla?"

"Hey, I'm not trying to take sides. But taking out your anger on the furniture wasn't very nice, especially on 'The Best Bed in Kaer Morhen'. I remember that bed – Triss used to read me bedtime stories when I was young. I would curl up next to her and she would read so sweetly and softly. I would be fast asleep in no time."

"I thought you weren't taking sides? Besides, Triss defiled that bed when she decided to take my man and lie with him in it. And you know they weren't reading stories!"

"Why not just change the sheets?"

Yen simply glared at her.

Ciri quickly put her hands up. "Okay! I get the point. You're super pissed at him."

"Which is exactly why I know he's trying to get even! Deprive me of sleep with their animalistic grunts."

"Oh, I hardly think that is the case!" came a voice from behind them.

Ciri and Yennefer turned around to view the source of the new comer. It was Philippa Eilhart, the head of the Lodge of Sorceresses. She wore a blindfold, as her eyes had been forcibly removed by the king of Redania, Radovid the Stern. Despite this, she was able to move about quite effectively, no doubt aided by magic.

"What the hell do you want?" asked Yennefer.

"Well, I heard the sounds of a scintillating conversation and wanted to join in. Now, you think that Triss and Geralt are playing some game of revenge? Tsk tsk! I would think you'd know your friend and former lover better than that!"

The raven haired sorceress crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Oh great! The wise and mighty Philippa has come to lecture me. This will be good."

Unfazed, Philippa continued her speech. "You see, dear sorceress, Triss Merigold has the emotional maturity of a horny adolescent. It really is a pity, since she has a dazzling intellect. But, alas, she would prefer to think with her vagina. She simply can't help herself – and that is why she spends every waking moment _desperately_ yearning for Geralt to fuck her. And the witcher? Well! He is only too happy to oblige. So you see: this is not an orchestrated attempt at revenge, but the activities of two people who are ruled entirely by their private parts."

"You're a disgusting woman," concluded Ciri.

"Dear Cirilla, you of all people should know that I'm not the disgusting one in this picture. How does it feel knowing that your 'big sister' readily jumps into bed with your father?"

"What? It's not like that at all!" Ciri countered.

"I suggest you leave Ciri alone, if you know what's good for you," threatened Yen.

Undeterred, Eilhart merely laughed. "As you wish. But, Ciri – if you ever get tired of living in that incestuous family, I suggest you reconsider my offer to join the Lodge."

"Did you literally come out here to insult us, then ask me to join the Lodge?" asked Ciri.

"No! I was kept awake by the noises coming from Geralt and Triss' room. How inconsiderate: they're keeping the whole ship awake with their antics."

"They woke you up too?"

"Yes! First I hear a loud bang – like they dropped a cannonball. Then, I start hearing Triss wail like a sea-sick ghost!"

"Damn! Either the walls are super thin, or those two are really going at it hard!" Ciri blurted out.

"Enough Ciri!" scolded Yennefer.

"The walls are definitely not sound-proof," came a tired voice.

The trio turned and noticed Margarita Laux-Antille walking towards them.

"Good evening Rita! Has our happy couple has disturbed you slumber as well?" asked Philippa.

"Yes, how inconsiderate! I do wish they'd at least keep it down. I knew Geralt was a wild-man, but I would have thought that Merigold would have kept him at bay."

"Oh please! You know that 'self-control' and 'Triss' are antonyms," commented Philippa.

"True enough. Merigold always did think with her lady-parts," added Rita.

The blindfolded sorceress, nodded vigorously and began pacing around. She had the air of a professor making a brilliant deduction in front of a lecture hall full of students. "Indeed! What you see here is the consequence of years of sexual frustration coupled with psychological immaturity. The result: nymphomania."

Ciri rolled her eyes. "You two are just jealous of Triss."

"Surely you do not approve of Geralt's fling with Triss, Ciri?" asked Margarita.

"I approve of whatever makes him happy," replied Ciri.

"Really! Listen to that – as long as Geralt is happy, he can plough an entire whorehouse," mocked Philippa.

This whole conversation was getting very old for the ashen haired woman. Ciri tried to keep the mood light, but Philippa's constant bashing of Triss and Geralt wore at her nerves. In truth, she was getting awfully tired of the two Lodge sisters mocking Triss, whom she had always looked up to and respected, and Geralt, her adoptive father. She finally had enough.

"I've heard enough! You two just don't get it. Geralt and Triss are in love, whether you like it or not. That's reality. And we may all be dead in a few days anyway, who cares if they enjoy a few last moments of happiness? Just... shut up if all you can do is tear people down!"

"Well said, Ciri. We have to accept the facts as they are, no matter how unsavory, and work together if we are to be successful in our quest," added Yennefer. Looking directly at Philippa and Margarita, she continued. "To this end, I would appreciate it if you both would keep your abnormally large noses out of our business."

Not one to be subdued, Philippa doubled down. "Which is precisely what I've been doing: Accepting reality, pointing out facts. It would be wholly unnecessary if young Cirilla weren't so loyal to a pair of hypersexual baboons! Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. Beyond inconsiderate, Triss is – "

"Triss is what, exactly?" Geralt's deep, booming voice caught everyone by surprise.

They all turned and noticed Geralt and Triss had just ascended to the main deck. Triss was leaning on Geralt, her arm wrapped around his chest, and all of her weight placed on him; consequently, Geralt had his arm wrapped around Triss, supporting her. Geralt wore a stony expression and his yellow cat-like eyes were glowing slightly. To say that Triss looked weary would be an understatement: she looked positively exhausted. Everyone noticed that her legs were wobbling and her face was pale.

For a long while, no one spoke. They just stared at the couple awkwardly, not sure what to think. Finally, Ciri spoke up. "Triss, what... uhm, what did he do to you?"

"Don't fret. He took good care of me, Ciri. Geralt is very gentle," Triss said affectionately. She then turned her head and gave Geralt a soft kiss on the cheek.

Ciri and Yennefer exchanged a significant look, while Margarita murmured under her breath what they were all thinking at the moment. "If this is gentle, I'd hate to see what rough looks like."

After another brief moment of silence, Yennefer stepped forward. "Triss, you don't have to defend him. Tell me honestly, how are you feeling?"

Triss furrowed her eyebrows, slightly confused at the level of concern emanating from Yennefer. "What's that supposed to mean? And why is everyone out so late? Did something happen?"

"That's what we're all trying to find out," chimed in Margarita. "Merigold, this is the 13th century! And you're a sorceress besides! You shouldn't let your man treat you this way."

"I know, I know. I can take care of myself, trust me," Triss replied, waving her free hand dismissively. "But I like it when Geralt treats me this way. It makes me feel special. Loved."

"Hmph! You see my point now, Ciri? She is totally deluded. Willing to equate this level of abuse for love is the result of stunted emotional development. You see, she is so malformed psychologically that she is reaching out in pure desperation," lectured Philippa.

At this point, Geralt was utterly bewildered. _Why is it so wrong to take care of my woman's needs?_ He thought.

Ciri walked a few paces forward. She thought for a brief moment, chose her words carefully, and spoke softly. "Triss, I care about you deeply. No one is perfect, but I know that you always try to do the right thing, no matter what. I always try to do the same. Now, please be honest with me. You do not look well. Tell me what happened."

Geralt and Triss shared a confused look. With a slight nudge of encouragement from the witcher, Triss recounted the night's events from their perspective, not sparing any of the gory details.

~~O~~

 _ **Triss and Geralt's Room, Earlier That Night**_

Both Triss and Geralt had decided to retire for the evening. As they lay in bed, the witcher snuggled up to his sorceress, wrapping his arms around her body while Triss was softly stroking his hair. Just as sleep is about to take them, Geralt's enhanced senses picks up on a disturbing noise coming from inside of his lover. He opens his eyes and sees that Triss' face has gone pale.

"Ooh, Geralt... I think I'm gonna be sick!" Triss moans.

Immediately, he grabs a bucket off the shelf and throws in down on the ground. It lands with a crash, but he doesn't care. Triss gets out of bed, but immediately starts vomiting all over herself and the floor. Geralt gently pulls her over and places her beside the bucket. She kneels down, places head in the bucket, and begins evacuating her stomach again. After vomiting, she lifts her head up and begins groaning from the nausea.

"Oohhh, I'm sorry, I – "

Her sentence is cut off as another wave of nausea hits her. She leans down for a third bout of vomiting.

"Uugh... Geralt, I feel terrible. Oooh... I don't get it, I never get sea – "

A fourth wave hits her and she starts dry-heaving in the bucket, her stomach now empty of contents.

"Ohhh, Geralt... I can't stop... I, Ooohh!"

"Don't stop Triss. Let your body do the work..."

Suddenly, they hear a fist slam on the other side of the wall. "Quiet down in there! Some of us are trying to sleep!" comes Yennefer's voice.

"How inconsiderate!" moans Triss. "How would she like to be – "

Once again, her sentence is cut-off midway as she heaves into the bucket. Trembling, Triss tries to lift herself up, but Geralt pulls her into his arms instead. He gingerly wipes her mouth with a damp cloth and then strips off her soiled chemise. Ready with a small bucket of water and a towel, Geralt starts to gently wash her nude body.

"How are you feeling, Triss?"

"A little better. I don't have anything left to throw up, anyway."

He chuckled slightly. "You always did look at the positives."

"How can I not, when you take so good care of me?"

"I'm just doing what anyone would."

"No, Geralt," corrected Triss softly. "You always took special care for me, even before we were together. Remember when I got sick with that illness several years ago?"

"Mmhmm. You were a mess back then too. Never seen so much diarrhea in all my life."

"And yet you took care of me each time. You didn't complain or try to leave me behind. Each time you'd take me into the woods and then wash me just like you are now. So patient, gentle, and kind. It's no wonder I fell in love with you."

"Love you too. Even if it means that I don't get any nobility points."

"What are you talking about?"

"Hmm, there's a certain dwarf who remembers the tale of when you had that illness. He says that since you weren't my woman at the time, it means that taking care of you was the height of chivalry. Guess since you're my woman now, I don't get to stamp my virtue card."

"Geralt, sometimes I'll never understand what goes on in that head of yours."

"Why not just read my mind?"

Triss giggled weakly. "In this condition? I don't think I could stomach it!"

"Ouch, that hurts Triss."

"Not as much as knowing that I stole your 'virtue'!" teased Triss.

"You seem to be feeling better. Wanna finish up yourself?"

Triss grabbed his arm. "No! I'm weak and defenseless. Don't leave a damsel in distress, Sir Knight! You have to finish what you started."

"If you insist, mi'lady."

Geralt continued to clean off his sorceress. He took his time, ensuring that each inch of her was clean. Triss relished his gentle, loving touch. Though she was still nauseous, she greatly enjoyed moments like these. So, even after she was thoroughly clean, Triss insisted that Geralt missed a spot here and there. Smirking slightly, he made sure to follow her lead and re-wash all the areas she pointed out. When she was finally satisfied, Geralt dressed her in a clean nightgown and lifted her up. He noticed that she was still pale and her legs were wobbling slightly.

"You feeling alright?"

"Better, but still not great. I'm still nauseated and weak on my feet."

"Let's go above-deck. The fresh air may help – the stench in here is awful."

"Can you support me? I don't feel very steady."

"Of course. Let's go."

~~O~~

 _ **Main Deck, Present**_

"So that's what happened," Triss finished.

Ciri and the other three sorceresses merely looked at each other, and then started laughing in unison.

Triss and Geralt exchanged bewildered looks.

After their laughter had subsided, Ciri walked up to Triss and Geralt and gave each a big hug. She then apologized for a misunderstanding, bade them goodnight, and descended down to her room. Yennefer nodded to them both, extended a wish that Triss feel better, and went to her chambers. Margarita walked past with a slightly embarrassed expression, murmured her 'goodnight' and went below deck. Philippa merely brushed past the two without any exchange, as if she was indeed totally blind after all.

Now alone with the witcher, Triss turned to him and chuckled. "Do you have any idea what that was all about?"

"No. But, I'm sure Ciri will tell us the story later. Come, let's just enjoy the night air," said Geralt.

"Sounds good. Promise you'll keep me warm?"

"Always."


End file.
